sink under.
There could be fog
Or maybe just a mist
And inexplicably I'll fade to white
Vanish, and be gone
Or it could be night
And I'll be darkly dressed,
Evading easy definition
And as your eye's distracted
By a falling leaf
I'll merge with restless shadows
And be gone
Then you will discover
What emptiness is
A space so hollow
Even its own walls are swallowed up
A quality of missing
So intense
A lack, a lack
Each hour more bottomless than the last
Until your heart cries out,
A howl of forfeiture
But it will be nothing
Ashen silence where I used to sing
And deafness
The howl must strike the right resonant frequency
A wail that echoes all to the ends of time
To fill the gaping void in whole, looping wavelengths
From the well of your soul, such loneliness
To make Siberian wolves hang heads for shame
In their convivial packs
Then, only then
Might you detect my footprints, indistinct
Marking the morning dew fall
Perhaps glimpse a puff of breath
in the cold, dawn air
You must utter
A howl so desolate, it
Jerks you from your sleep
To find me warm beside you on your pillow
And you will know how
Close you were to the brink
Of the abyss
And know what missing is
And hold me.
Â
the livin one.
JEWW.
taurus.
ball thru the hoop is my game
OUTDOORS and clubs.
APPLOGIST
EMOTIONS.
talking, laughing, loving, breathing,
fighting, fcuking, crying, drinking,
writing, winning, losing, cheating,
kissing, thinking, dreaming.
LIST
suspenders
overolls
convrse bball shoes
timberland baggg
braunbuffel wallet
adidas sbs
adidas jacket
ipod video
MACbook pro
limegreen G-shock watch
adidas cap
DUN HAVE MY SIZE! ):
havanas sandles
E.A / adidas shades
black blazer with white strips
clothes pls :)
Friday, March 31, 2006
sat at the bus stop..
air was still..
few people was around..
felt as though it was 2-3am..
but it was only 12am..
maybe ive gotten use to going home so late..
12am is considered early..
i enjoy the quietness of the surrounding..
i enjoy walking home in the middle of the night..
i enjoy the peace that i always feel despite the troubles of the heart..
sometimes i just wish that the night will just go on..
and the serene walk never ending..
my tots are simple..
i just wanna hold you tight and never let go.. :)
ilu.
. stared 9:07 AM
Thursday, March 30, 2006
WTH.
i hate last min stuff ahhh..
i know im suppose to do budget proposal for bball club coz im the pres and submit it by end of the month which is now?!
BUT WTH~ i already did it.. and today the lesson this morning which i didnt attend (my fren attended it for me coz ive attachment, thx dear) they gave the freaking format!!!
SO LAST MIN~!!!!
and expect me?!?! to submit it tml in both hard and soft copy?! meaning ive to travel all the freaking way down to school to put the hard copy in the person's pigeon hole and leave?!?!?
HELLO. we're ppl with plans?! not maids and let u tell us wat to do? im sure even maids wun do such retarded thgs ah.. freakin piss me off ah..
the worst thg is i dun understand the format at all.. AT ALL.
im seriously bad at excel.. n the macros stuff? its drivin me nuts..
plus they gave the format and not example?! im sure if they give me an example it'll be easier?!
im irritated.
once again.. its so last min! argh.
ROARS.
i've said my piece.
. stared 11:41 AM
Monday, March 27, 2006
You know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile without you
. stared 7:43 PM
Sunday, March 26, 2006
went happy last night..
gosh. the music arent dat gd but it was qt happenin.. coz of sweat nite.. yuppp..
xh went with me.. lynn was there with sylvia.. met sylvia's frens.. one of whom was from np n i rembed her coz she came for sports n wellness bball b4 =] ive gd memory for faces~ haha =]
had waterfall! i liked it :) :)
anw, no more clubbin..
for now..n no more smokin!!! argh. STOP IT.i dun wanna give up..not yet not now..i feel as tho im givin u stress..but i dun mean to n i dun wan to..all i can say is dat i do mind but when i knew u..u were alr socialisin.. so i guess i can only go socialisin with u..:) no regrets.
. stared 7:53 PM
Saturday, March 25, 2006
did i really not study hard enuff?
is gettin an A really so hard?
so if i memorise the whole book does it mean ill get an A?
imbotheredbythefact.
. stared 6:53 AM
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
夜黑夜寂寞的夜里
气生气对自己生气
软弱的电话又打给你
想听你那边的空气
有什麽精采的话题
你还是温柔给我婉转的距离
我的声音在笑泪在飙电话那头的你可知道
世界若是那麽大为何我要忘你无处逃
我的声音在笑泪在飙电话那头的你可知道
世界若是那麽小为何我的真心你听不到
会很会伪装我自己
你不该背我的秘密
沉重都给我微笑给你
奔狂奔空旷的感情
走暴走暴走的伤心
透明的叹息最後还是我的秘密
我的声音在笑泪在飙电话那头的你可知道
世界若是那麽大为何我要忘你无处逃
我的声音在笑泪在飙电话那头的你可知道
世界若是那麽小为何我的真心你听不到
听不到听不到
我的执着扑通扑通一直在跳
直到你有一天能够明了
我做得到我做得到
我的声音在笑泪在飙电话那头的你可知道
世界若是那麽大为何我要忘你无处逃
我的声音在笑泪在飙电话那头的你可知道
世界若是那麽小为何我的真心你听不到
*你听不到..
. stared 11:58 PM
what do u tnk of foor sensor showers? or perhaps foot switch showers?
helps save water?
or time scheduled barrier to block off U-turnin along lornie road for drivers who doesnt read the time when it is open for U-turnin n when its not open?
the sad truth is we hardly take the time to read whn we drive esp whn we're at the most right lane..
or perhaps a department in the shoppin centre which removes the packagin of ur product u bought before leavin the shoppin center in order to recycle the papers n plastics?
or mayb comin up with ways to stop shops for stickin on sticky price tags which is such a trouble when we hafta tear it off whn we buy it for frens as gifts and that part of the gift will become sticky n yucky..
or generatin electricity or energy from ppl who frequent the gyms.. conserve energy.. plus they get to work out too (works on ppl like lynn :)
by far i tnk charging during daily routine is good too~ for e.g our hp.. wat wld it feel if we're able to charge our hp with body heat and by radiation?
i need ideassss..
rainnn down on meee..gonna go cut hair laterrr~! so excitin! hahaha..anwww.. went out for supper after work yest with gary winn kay.. =] =] went newton.. the food was yums yums. "gary, thx! i own u plenty"after which we went to amk park swings to swinnggg~ whee.walked ard the park in the dark.. interestin!found this path which i can train myself~ coz its steps!!! can run up n down up n down up n down up n down...... (u get the idea.. hee)den after dat we went homee.. hahanow i cant wait for sku to end to go for haircutttttt~!:) :) :) :) :)time goes on despite it all.. i cant make myself forget u neither can i make myself stop..im confused.. wat do u wan? wat do i wan?when will this fear go away..when will i be myself...
. stared 9:31 PM
the art of not eating and being not tempted is hard.. >.<
workin later.. hoho. goin out with gary kay winnie after work.. =]meanwhile.. let me get back to my work.. heh.why do i blog? sheesh.*can i be ur guardian angel?
. stared 12:01 AM
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
"love is an act of will and not a state of mind"my braces hurtin my teeth.. ill stop eatin for
awhile..
. stared 12:14 AM
Monday, March 20, 2006
its rainin again today..
im freezin inside the office.. sittin here and typin..
winnie's sittin beside me listenin to songs n playin a macdonald game..
this seems to be like a routine every afternoon..
den just like factory workers we'll clock out on time at 1630..
kay told me the css results yest..
just like everyone else i was turned off at the tot of renfred gettin into the finals..
but it shows how thgs works doesnt it? ultimately its the votes dat matters..
its a pity adriano didnt get in.. but everyone worked hard to where they are now.. they deserved our respect for comin so far actually. :)
finals.. jiayou!
im listenin to journey.. browsed thru friendster pics.. thinkin of ppl wonderin how are they.. how times used to be.. to speak the truth.. im not good at maintainin long time friendship.. friends drift away from me eventually.. or shd i say i drift away from them.. after some time all the times we spent together will just cease to be nth but a memory..
* walkin alone on this journey..
. stared 9:51 PM
Sunday, March 19, 2006
I need to talk with you again,
Why did you go away?
All our time together,
Just feels like yesterday.
I never thought I'd see,
A single day without you.
The things we take for granted,
We can sometimes lose.
And if I promise not to feel this pain,
Will I see you again,
Will I see you again.
'Cause time will pass me by,
Maybe I'll never learn to smile.
But I know I'll make it through,
If you wait for me
And all the tears I cry,
No matter how I try
They'll never bring you home to me
Won't you wait for me? in heaven.
Do you remember how it was?
When we never seemed to care.
The days went by so quickly,
'Cause I thought you'd always be there.
And it's hard to let you go,
Though I know that I must try.
I feel like I've been cheated,
'Cause we never said goodbye.
And if I promise not to feel this pain,
Will I see you again?
Will I see you again?
'Cause time will pass me by,
Maybe I'll never learn to smile.
But I know I'll make it through,
If you wait for me
Won't you wait for me?
And all the tears I cry,
No matter how I try
They'll never bring you home to me
Won't you wait for me? in heaven.
'Cause I miss you so
and I need to know.
Will you wait for me?
(Time will pass me by
Maybe I’ll never learn to smile)
No no no
(But I know I'll make it through)
If you wait for me say you'll wait for me
(And all the tears I cry)
All the tears I cry
(No matter how I try)
How I try
They'll never bring you home to me
Wont't you wait for me?
‘Cause time will pass me by,
Maybe I'll never learn to smile.
But I know I'll make it through,
If you wait for me.
one of my fave songs..
in school doin assignments n chattin..
enjoyin all the oldies i just input into the sku commm.. tryin not to tnk so much n just let it be.. its pourin outside.. im workin later..
im holdin on to my decision i guess coz if i dun it will be outta impulse and it wun do anyone gd anyway.. :)
often i tot.. why r feelings complicated? or is it just me datz thinkin alot..? i refuse anymore.
*cause we're livin in a world of fools
. stared 11:57 PM
Friday, March 17, 2006
hmmm.. DXO-ed on thurs.. it was messy.. haha
managed to get kay n the rest in.. 'phew' haha..
for once i was messed up lookin everywhere for ppl..
saw alot of familiar faces too~!
lets see.. rons toe & bf yeoks bliss gy van rong yan kay joyce kel lydia da.liting gary winn fio novi tenshi lynn elaine n gf xc n gf..
lolx. lotsa interestin stuffs happened..
i looked
i saw
i tot
sometimes the harder we try the worse the situation will become.. it might just have the opposite results of wat we wanted in the first place..
yarrr.. n the dj didnt play my current fav songgg~ beep!! sad.
watched shaggy dog on fri night.. went to kel's hse stoned slacked played watched tv fell asleep force ppl nt to slp.. haha. fun fun.. i sound as tho im havin a hol but e fact is i really enjoy goin out with them and just hang ard till so late at night.. i enjoy it! love u girls n guy! heh.
tell me is it just infatuation
coz my heart beats fast in syncopation
caught the middle of situation
can't get a grip on my destination
my reputation and past relations
don't mean a thing when it comes to passion
but we're too shy to try what's right
can't make the first move even though i try
. stared 10:06 PM
Thursday, March 16, 2006
TP Test today..
I FAILED.
sighs.. the parts where i felt that was okie wasnt.. the parts where i felt dat wasnt okie was okie?!?! wth. the next test date will be next month.. it seems so far away.. i cant wait to get my license actually.. coz if i dun get it soon.. i have a feeling ill be lazy to try to get it? im a lazybum. i need more practiceeee.. somebody pls remind me bout dat..
im in school slackin now.. im doing IHP for my this semester~ =] first few days qt slack i suppose.. we're just waiting for time to reach 4.30 den ull see everyone smiling n leavin the room.. haha. typical of us. anw im stockin up my drawers! haha.. we're given drawers each to put anythg we wannnn... im gonna put lotsa food! haha healthy food i hope if not ull probably see a supersize me next month.. :)
DXO tonight.. i hafta learn to restrain n control myself..
everytime i looked at you..
you just seem to be gettin more n more outta reach..
why do i feel so helpless n restless..
thinkin bout you relentlessly..
. stared 12:03 AM
Monday, March 13, 2006
. stared 6:10 PM